Wednesday 30 December 2009

comat camit

more than three weeks gue ga ngeblog. hebat juga hahaha. lebih tepatnya gue lg so not in the mood to post anything. just want to lay down, relax. ngelupain semuanya. which i couldn't.
well secara sebentar lagi 2009 will be done, gue mau ngomong ngelantur kesana kemari aja. karena banyak banget yg belum dipost jadi i chosed to forget them all. create new stories in 2010.

about my mister rebel but sweet. totally it has been a very long time for me to not see or meet him. but eventhough i met a guy on christmas eve mass (yg bener2 bikin gue melting dari awal gue masi anak2 dan couldn't spoke indonesia) gue masih agak berharap meskipun omongannya lately menyakitkan hati gue. dosa apa gue Tuhan sampe harus suka sm orang ini? if i could turn back time, i would choose tetep sma di gonz tp kuliah bener-bener ke vancouver. lanjut sm mantan and having my happily ever after there. daripada harus pusing beginian..

hadeeeuh pusing beneran deh mau nulis apaan.....


Friday 11 December 2009

a moment..

for a moment..
hopefully this could be my last time
end of the year is coming
and yes, i should and have to let it go

there will never come a day
you will ever hear me say that i want and need to be without you
i wanna give my all
baby just hold me
simply control me
cause your arms, they keep away the lonelies
when i look into your eyes
then i realize
that all i need is you in my life
all i need is you in my life
cause i..

never felt this way about loving
never felt so good
never felt this way about loving
it feels so good

how it takes my breath
starts a pounding in my chest
makes me weak when i think about you
makes me wanna give my all
life would not mean a thing
not a heavy song to sing
just emptiness if i dare to live without you
when i look into your eyes
then i realize that all i need is you in my life
all i need is you in my life

cause i never felt this way about loving
never felt so good
never felt this way about loving it feels so good

[never felt this way - brian mcknight]

that was it..
enough for today..
a photo i forgot to burn
made me think about this song
then the radio played this song
and finally i could cheer up
again..

at first i was afraid
i was petrified
i kept thinking i could never live without you by my side
but then i spent so many nights
just thinking how you have done me wrong
i grew strong
i learned how to get along
and so you are back
from outer space
i just walked in to find you
here with that sad look upon your face
i should have changed my fucking lock
i would have made you leave your key
if i had known for just one second
you would be back to bother me
oh now GO!
walk out the door
just turn around
now, you are not welcome anymore
were not you the one who tried to break me with desire?
did you think i would crumble?
did you think i would lay down and die?
oh not i, I WILL SURVIVE
as long as i know how to love
i know i will be alive
i have got all my life to live
i have got all my love to give
i will survive
I WILL SURVIVE

it took all the strength i had just not to fall apart
i am trying hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart
and i spent oh so many nights
just feeling sorry for myself
i used to cry
but now i hold my head up high
and you see me with somebody new
i am not that stupid little person still in love with you
and so you thought you would just drop by
and you expect me to be free
but now i am saving all my loving
for someone who is loving me
oh now GO
walk out the door
just turn around
now, you are not welcome anymore
were not you the one who tried to break me with desire?
did you think i would crumble?
did you think i would lay down and die?
oh not i
I WILL SURVIVE
as long as i know how to love
i know i will be alive
i have got all my life to live
i have got all my love to give
i will survive
I WILL SURVIVE
yeah!

Monday 7 December 2009

superb and healthy

studying on microbiology for tomorrow's quiz, turned out i stuck.

what a day! yup, what a day.
this morning, a friend of mine stopped by and she made me to choose between campus and having fun. well i chose having fun, definitely :p

we went to senayan city, since we're hungry and we ate lots and lots and lots of sushi. thanks to angie who paid the bill, we ate like crawzy people who havent eat for a thousand years (lebay). but then since i felt guilty (weird and very rare. me. guilty feeling eating sushi) and also with sunshine lovely weather, i decided to go back to campus by walking. i am not lying. it's true. i walked from senayan city, with angie, to atma jaya university by walking. well with her complaints all the way, we made it. yup, we made it to atma jaya (angels' choir singing hallelujah). geez still couldnt believe it. HAHAHA

then angie companied me at library cause i had to study microbiology. kinda ignored her but she was really patient. she read something about business while i read brock. damn, today is superb amazing. lots of love and thanks to angie for company me. let's do it again next time! maybe not from senayan city, but from plaza indonesia or grand indonesia :)

back to microbiology. again. huff

Saturday 5 December 2009

analysis of me

got it from eli's blog, taken from www.synastry.net

Analysis of you
Horse, Cancer

You are: daredevil "black panther"

Personality of you
you are full of motherly love, a broad hearted woman. it is attractive for the other that, with a broad heart, you devote yourself to everyone. you are a person of character. you are pure and sincere, and when you have a conflict with another person, you often give way to him or her. this needless you to calculate how to get the jump on your enemy. you are so calm that you cant suddenly fly into a rage or be disappointed. as it is explained like this, it sounds as if you are not interesting, but in fact you have an interest in everything, and you are aggressive and full of curiosity about study and work. once you start doing something, you try to completely carry it out. you behave quickly, so you look comfortable. you have a rich talent for art, and you show individual talent in art and music. your difficulty is that you are a little stubborn. but the stubborn quality shows that you are honest with yourself. you are so logical that most people will agree with your argument.

Nature of you
since you have a sense of humor you can attract the people in your surroundings. and you have an unwavering self-confidence and belief. you have a burning passion in your heart, and you always pursue and object to attack the object of your passion. once you find the object, you attack it straightly ahead. once you think it true, you process regardless of reputation. since you push your belief's with strong decisions, which seem unsuited to your soft appearance, you miss the feelings of the people in your surroundings and lose the connection with them. you sometimes need to be humble, to reflect on yourself. people around you will help you in times of trouble because of your innate virtues.

Personal relationship of you
People always gather around you automatically. whoever be together with you, feels so relied. and you are rich humor. someone may regard you as a person who is affable to everybody, but since you dont discriminate against anyone, you can be friendly with anybody in natural. since you are shy, you become a little bashful in front of strangers, but people is favorably impressed as you are honesty and pure with your shyness. especially the evaluation from the woman is higher than from the man.


What type about romance of you
different from your simple appearance, you have a passion for love in heart. and when you find the target, the flame of passion start burning. you are devoted woman, if your devotion connect with affection, you attack it recklessly. since you dont select a type of love that you take a long time for growing it, sometimes you may choose an unsuitable partner. and if you feel it is unsuitable, you dont care for him and you say "good bye" frankly. if you become a homemaker, you may be a good wife and wise mother. and if your husband is independent, you show the devoted support for your husband.

Typical analysis:
best parner: "wolf" who realize an ideal
better chemistry: "koala" like a spoil child ; cautious "sheep" ; eager beaver "monkey" ; "black panther" with foresight
no good: "elephant" an attention seeker ; donnish "wolf" ; cool and modest "wolf" ; soft-hearted "cheetah"
stressful to go with: please-everyone "pegasus" ; "monkey" who rebels against authority ; theoritical "monkey" ; "lion" with nobility and purity
incompatible like oil and water: childish "cheetah" 

Chemistry of romance according to constellation:
Scorpio: they are attracted to each other silently, because they have same information. they are bound by an amazing fate which they can get along with each other, if they have some experiences of try and error.
Pisces: the caring cancer woman gives a strong sense of security to the pisces man. since he gently waits and sees only her best qualities, he falls in love with her.
Capricorn: the woman of cancer who is emotional and easy to change feeling looks gladly a strong self controling of the man of capricorn.
Cancer: both the man and the cancer woman are in friendly harmony. they look as if there were an old couple. and after becoming a real old couple, they love each other again.
Taurus: the careful and peaceful man of taurus and the familiar and sincere woman of cancer. they can find a factor of building a usual family life and attract each other.
Virgo: the woman of cancer who tries to please everyone is attracted to the hidden truth of the man of virgo. the sensitive man of virgo can express itself in front of the woman of cancer.
Gemini: the gemini man who is a favorite with women and the cheerful cancer woman begin to go out on light curiosity. then they become serious and inseparable. the gemini man sometimes gets amorous.
Leo: for the soft woman of the cancer, the man of leo is too forcible. for the man of leo, the woman of scorpio looks emotional. to make a firm connection, they must behave as natural not as intimate.
Sagittarius: the ideal type of man for the woman of cancer is the man who takes good care of family. but on the contrary, the man of sagittarius is direct opposite type. to make it good luck, they need to be connected within a job or a purpose.
Aquarius: the man of aquarius really feel put out that he cant covey something he wants to say to the woman of cancer. she despites him because he looks like snob to her.
Libra: the woman of cancer tries to help someone in trouble. when the man of libra sees this situation, he regard her as a histeria. on the other hand, she seems him as an abyss man, because he is friendly to everybody.
Aries: woman of cancer cant persist on a careless man of taurus. man of aries cant persist on the woman of cancer who let her hearts rule her head.

Chemistry with general personal relationship
Pisces: cancer and pisces are belong to the same group of water. so they can keep an affable and a gentle relationship. they can expose their natural selves without ostentatious display.
Scorpio: both cancer and scorpio have an affection to love someone, so they can keep a sensitive and lifelong friendship. if one finds the other's close girlfriend, they may keep away each other.
Taurus: unfussy taurus behaves along to the indication of cancer. however since taurus has strong jealousy, cancer had better not to stimulate to taurus in love relationship.
Virgo: cancer and virgo can get a calm friendship. cancer devote a lot of attention to virgo like a sister.
Gemini: gemini and cancer can make an ordinary association. in the case of starting geminis big talk, the difficult cancer separates from gemini.
Leo: cancer and leo are as if a relationship of cat-and-dog. to get along well, they need to be clear the hierarchical relationship or leo be too dependent on cancers kindness.
Sagittarius: family-like cancer and sagittarius who have a dream of blazing through the world like a comet are human of another world.
Cancer: if the one side is superior to other side, cancer feels bad. if they can fight on an equal basis, they can prise each other.
Aquarius: feminine cancer and muscline aquarius hardly sympathize each other. when aquarius feels loneliness, cancer takes care gently and they can be more closely.
Capricorn: capricorn cant understand unstable temper of cancer. cancer becomes stifling by receiving strict gaze from capricorn.
Libra: once fall in love, cancer cant make a judgement of good or bad. libra cant understand such a cancer.
Aries: aries and cancer are possible to make a fierce battle. aries had better to reduce the self opinion into one third. cancer should have a ration.

confession

geu rae yo geu dae ma eum na eh
geh da ga wa joo gil ba rae yo
geu dae ae seul peun noon bit sok eh
nae ga deul uh ga gil ba rae yo


an dae get jyo nae mam eul geu rut geh
swip geh bat ah jool soon up get jyo
ha ji man geu dae moon eul yul go
nal bat ah joo gil ba rae yo


mant eun nal deul eul geu dael wi hae
po gi hal soo it suh yo
so joong han gun geu dae ha na bboon in gul ee hae hal soo it na yo


soo mant eun nae sa ram ee
byul dae uh geu dae gyut eh ji kyuh jool ggeh yo
po geun han bam geu dae wa ham ggeh
jam deul go ship eun de


boo jok han geh mant ji man
mo deun gul geu dae eh geh deu ril teh ni
nae sa rang boo di nae jak eun ggoom eul bat ah joo gil ba rae yo


mant eun nal deul eul geu dael wi hae
po gi hal soo it suh yo
so joong han gun geu dae ha na bboon in gul
ee hae hal soo it na yo


soo mant eun nae sa ram ee
byul dae uh geu dae gyut eh ji kyuh jool ggeh yo
po geun han bam geu dae wa ham ggeh jam deul go ship eun de


boo jok han geh mant ji man mon deun gul
geu dae eh geh deu ril teh ni
nae sa rang boo di nae jak eun ggoom eul
bat ah joo gil ba rae yo


go ma wuh yo nae mam eul bat ah joon
geu dael wi hae nan sal ggeh yo
geu dae mo seup ee bit ba rae jyuh do
geu dael sa rang hal ggeh yo
geu dael sa rang hal ggeh yo
geu dael sa rang hal ggeh yo




yes i want your heart to come to me
i wish to be held in your sad eyes
it cant be done
you cant accept my heart that easily


but i want you to open your door and take me in
i can give up many days for you


can you see that the only precious person is you?
my many love will become stars and protect you by your side
i want to fall asleep softly by your side
i dont have much but i will give you all
so please take my love and my small dream


thank you
i will live for you for accepting my heart
even when your appearance loose its light
i will still love you
i will love you


- kang ta

loving the love

still upset with one of my lecturer, totally upset.
yesterday i presented my projects in two different classes. chemistry and immunology. the atmosphere was different. in chemistry class, i was so laid back, enjoying every moment and i could answer all the questions easily. but in immunology class, i was so nervous. why it could be so different? i dont know.

okay back to todays

this morning i created so many love logos. such as i love new york, i love london logos. here are some of them:
  
yeah, i do love new york and london, though i haven't been there :p


so i decided to finish reading books i bought this semester. and finally i finished one book: summer in seoul by ilana tan. you should read it! romantic but not so mellow. fit with the weather (winter or rainy season fits with romance kinda mellow-ish story). and i found a song from kang ta (korean singer) called confession. as usual, the lyric will be shown after i post this one.


and now, im teaching aldo speak korean. yup, im forcing him to do the confession cover for myself since he doesnt know the meaning of the song :p

Friday 4 December 2009

manis manja attack!

im exhausted. really exhausted.
its all began with me, stayed up all night, only to finish one of the most f*cking silliest assignment of all my life in biotechnology which was PKM-GT (if you read the 2 previous posts you'll know).

so, ive done the assignment. even though still asked obed to bind the papers. and got in just in time. not literally in time, but at least i wasnt 30 minutes late. i fell asleep for awhile and when i woke up, the MANIS MANJA lecturer said something. i was quite happy cause finally i had nothing to deal with her anymore. but this is where the shitty part came in. she said an unbelievable sentence with her not-so-innocent look.

"bukannya tugas dikumpulin senin atau selasa?"
(thought the assignment should be submitted on monday or tuesday)

should i be happy? should i be sad? or should i be angry?
didnt know what to feel
didnt know what to say

bottom line is: SCREW THE ASSIGNMENT

but i cant..

and now, im sick, totally sick.
thanks to MANIS MANJA.
you really did make my thursday

p.s manis manja is alias name for my MPPI lecturer. (not kak mesa though)

Thursday 3 December 2009

last request

slow down, lie down

remember it's just you and me

don't sell out, bow out
remember how this used to be

i just want you closer
is that alright?
baby, let's get closer tonight

grant my last request and just let me hold you
don't shrug your shoulders
lay down beside me
sure i can accept that we're going nowhere
but one last time let's go there
lay down beside me

i've found, that i'm bound
to wander down that one way road
and i realize all about your lies
but i'm no wiser than the fool i was before

i just want you closer
is that alright?
baby, let's get closer tonight

grant my last request and just let me hold you
don't shrug your shoulders
lay down beside me
sure i can accept that we're going nowhere
but one last time let's go there
lay down beside me

baby.. tell me how can, how can this be wrong?

grant my last request and just let me hold you
don't shrug your shoulders
lay down beside me
sure i can accept that we're going nowhere
but one last time let's go there
lay down beside me

-paolo nutini

black out!

what a hectic these two days. yesterday my life was busy with the microbiology lab's report that need to be presented in front of the assistants. and also i had to finish the chemistry lab report. totally hectic!
well after i could finish all those reports, i decided to get my beautiful nightmare but my boarding was really awesome. it went to black out. okay, great. and all those bitchy girls (called them bitchy cause they're really annoying) screamed like they saw a ghost or a tsunami coming over. here's some of their conversations:
A: damn! i was doing my assignment and i havent saved it yet.
B: geez, i was showering. i thought someone was making fun of me.

A: what should i do now?

C: f**k! do you know where the generator is?

B: wahyu knows..
C: wahyu, please turn on the generator..
W: (silently he went to look out for the generator)
a, b and c still talking in a very loud voice which very disturbing. it was 10 or 11 pm and you're yelling. didnt your parents taught you manner? damn!

then i woke up today, totally late. i got this biostatistics class on 7 am and i woke up 6.30. well i showered, very fast, then went to campus by ojeg. yup, five thousand rupiah flew without wings cause i didnt want to see mr.rory upset lol.
in biostatistics, i performed this little drama about take him out. the story is about single women and men looking for partner. and so on, and so on, and so on.

oh and before i forgot, i had the final exam of chemistry laboratory today! i got acid-base titration and i sucked! yup, i didnt do it correctly and, to be honest, i hate myself. dang!

and now im still wide awake cause im doing my MPPI final assignment: PKM-GT (program kreativitas mahasiswa - gagasan tertulis) and my theme is ALCOHOL EFFECT ON BRAIN'S DAMAGE. weird? nope cause i love to read scientific journal about alcohol and cigarette effect. okay freako weirdo mode is on i guess. the assignment itself needs brown and blue cover. and definitely one of the silliest assignment i had in this semester.

enough about MPPI. totally hate it. and im so had it enough for today.

do you still remember aldo? yup the aldo whos coming here in early november. he sang a song and to be honest, he was so fuckingly awesome. totally need to reduce my excitement about a guy whos playing guitar.

theres nothing i could tell about my dearest mister rebel but sweet today. since i didnt have anything to do. also losing my hopes on him. he disappoints me, eventually.
for you, my mister rebel but sweet, life isnt that simple. if its simple, it isnt life. cause life should be complex and complicated. thats what makes our life colorful and everyday is a new adventure for us.